Oddities (Peter & Sif & Thor & Stark)

[aa_valkyrie]

=NYC= Great Room - Ground Floor - Avengers Mansion
The Great Room at Avengers Mansion earns its place namely by its size: the dining facilities are rather expansive, and consolidate several different purposes in one area. Apart from the large dining area, there is also a sizable kitchen off one end, stock full of buffed metal and shiny appliances. An entertainment room is on the other, with a television that is almost /too/ big, and just about every entertainment and video game console known to man.

Soft blonde hair catches the late afternoon light, highlighting Valkyrie's stark features which have been lightly dusted with makeup. A Captain America comic book in her hands, the large woman is dressed in a short, pink leather dress, revealing an amount of leg that is almost indecent, and incredibly high sandals. Her legs bare the marks of many a scar. The comic book has her full attention for the moment.

Peter hasn't particularly been omnipresent at the Avenger's Mansion-- mostly because he's started classes most days, and is either off web-swinging in the evenings, or he's due home in Queens so that his Aunt May doesn't worry. However, as it's a Saturday afternoon, he's taking some time to explore the massive place. There's no sound of footfalls, as Peter doesn't explore much by walking around, especially while in costume. Instead, there's a voice that comes from up near the ceiling, the spider looking down on the leggy blonde sitting on the couch, reading a comic book.

There's a lightly flippant tone to his voice without being pointedly snarky /at/ anyone in particular, "Does Cap know that you have that?" A *thwip* later, the spider descends upside-down, bringing him closer to level with the couch and the tall woman on it, looking at the upside-down cover of the comic book, "Or are you just an avid collector?"

"Steve knows all kinds of things," Valkyrie says, rough voice at odds with her fetching simper. She slowly draws down the comic to look at the spider. "Are you aware you're upside down?"

It's hard to tell that Peter's grinning underneath the mask, but his head cocks slightly in response as he studies the pink skirted teammate that doesn't at all quite match the picture in the file so helpfully left for him by Natasha. "Huh. What do you know-- I knew there had to be a reason why those pages looked kind of funny. I thought for a minute that I needed some corrective lenses," the spider quips in response, though he doesn't make move to upright himself from his rather unique vantage point. "Thanks for clearing that up."

Cocking her head to the side, Valkyrie watches him with vacant blue eyes and a pretty smile, twirling a lock of blonde hair around her finger. Girlishly. Or something. "You're very welcome."

There's a moment of awkward silence after Valkyrie's welcome as Peter just watches her quietly, noting the twirling of the golden lock of hair around a finger. "Um, not to be rude, but is everything okay?" There's a slight shift of his head that looks over her shoulder, then back to her face again. He /may/ glance at the rest of her sitting on the couch as well, but he definitely comes back to looking at her. "I mean-- I know this the first time we've actually met and all, but I guess I didn't quite expect all of this... pink. Your file is a little misleading." There's a brief pause, and he adds hurriedly before she can take offense, "Not that there's anything /wrong/ with pink, of course."

It is really hard to tell where he is looking with those beady bug-eyes, but there is certainly plenty of Valkyrie on display to look at. She /giggles/ at Peter's question, looking sweetly amused. "My file is entirely correct," she demurs. "I could remove your head from your shoulders without effort little bug."

It's not /too/ hard, because his head shifts slightly as he looks in different directions. It's only hard to tell exactly what he's looking /at/. But, when she giggles, Peter cocks his head again slightly, though he doesn't make any moves to get further away, despite the casual announcement of just how powerful she is. "That's sweet," he replies, unable to help himself, "I bet you say that to all the guys."

"I wouldn't say that to the men. They would think me unladylike," Valkryie murmurs. "You are a bug."

"They would?!" Peter affects surprise, bringing a hand up to his mask, covering what should be his mouth before grabbing the strand of webbing again. "What kind of men would they be if they couldn't handle a little threat to remove their heads from their shoulders? It's not unladylike-- it's just aggressive. Heck, some of them might even like that, given what I've seen in their files." Oddly enough, Peter seems to be enjoying this exchange, as surreal as it is.

"So you suggest that my technique is at fault? I do not believe that the good Captain would appreciate being attacked so," Valkryie notes with a laugh.

"Well, maybe not /Cap/," Peter admits grudgingly with an upside-down shrug. "He's more about sweetness, and honesty, and apple pie. But I think there are a number of others who might like a certain-- display of strength. After all, Thor is a God, if you can believe that-- and, the Hulk? Well, you might have a little trouble wrangling him for a kiss if he's on one of his usual rampages." After a moment, Peter lifts a finger slightly, "Although, maybe he would like the chance to have a good old-fashioned slugfest with a woman who knows how to hit back?" Dear god, PLEASE don't take him seriously.

"Odinson is a God to you mortals. He is the heir to Asgard and its realms," Valkyrie refutes with a ladylike pout. "Also he could have been have been my student, at my knee ...no matter how fetchingly he has grown." She falls silent, twirl-twirling that lock of hair as she rises to her feet. "It seems un-girlish to challenge him so, but perhaps if it would earn his attentions." Uhhm.

Sif enters at this moment, this very timely moment, and stops. And frowns. "Valkyrie," she greets, tone surprised. Very surprised. She looks to Spider-Man, landing from the ceiling, and steps towards the pair, glaring at Spidey. "What trickery is this?" she demands, hand on the hilt of the sword sheathed at her hip, "What have you done to her?"

Peter's costumed hands immediately go up in defensive gesture, turning to face the newcomer as she grabs at the sword on her hip, and his spider-sense starts telling him that he's very soon going to be in a lot of danger. "Woah, hold on there, lady!" Peter's mask looks from Lady Sif, to Valkyrie, and back again, "I just /found/ her this way, reading this Captain America comic book and sighing wistfully about being un-ladylike in front of the /men/ around here." There's a pause, and then Peter cocks his head slightly, "You mean she isn't usually like this? I thought maybe that her file wasn't-- complete or something."

There's a brief pause as Peter's brain catches up to his mouth, and he points directly at Lady Sif, "And now that I think of it, who the hell are you?! At least I know I'm supposed to be here, and so's she," he adds, thumbing at Valkyrie, "but I haven't seen anything about you. Jarvis, does she have clearance to be here?"

The disembodied voice of Jarvis speaks up in a tone that could only be considered patiently, "Yes, sir. She arrived at the mansion not long ago. Thor has arranged her to have clearance."

"SIF!" Valkryie booms with delight, skipping up to her -- a feat in such tawdry heels -- to extend her arms for a hug. "Dear child of war, what brings you here?" GLOM. Sorry, is the spider talking?

"She has never been like this," Sif replies to Peter as if it should be obvious to him. Can't he see how wrong this is? His questioning of her draws a roll of the eyes, "I am Sif, friend of Thor. Ask him, if you do not believe me." And then Valkyrie is squeezing Sif with her body. What is happening. She looks taken aback, frozen for a second, and then frowns. "Valkyrie, what has happened to you?" she asks, "What wicked magic is this, that has you so unlike yourself?" Her frown darkens, "Is this Loki's work?" she pulls back to look hard at Valkyrie's eyes.

Thank god for Lady Sif, saving Valkyrie from Peter's poor suggestions. He stares at the scene of Valkyrie hugging Sif agog for a few moments of utter confusion underneath his mask, but shakes himself out of it, those bug eyes turning more directly towards Sif, "I don't really know of a Loki, but I'm still a little new here. I mean-- I know her eyes were unfocused slightly, but I thought maybe she either took a blow to the head, or she was, you know-- stoned. What's this Loki do, anyway? How do you know him?"

"The handsome Captain thinks it may be magic," Valkyrie says with a smile and a sigh. Such a dreamy Captain. "Do you not like my new garb?" She self-consciously straightens her short skirt, adjusting the neckline of her dress. Ahem. When Sif looks in her eyes, she will see that they are unfocused and lack the clarity that the ancient warrior is known to possess. She even /bats/ her lashes.

Sif pulls back further from Valkyrie, but clasps her hands about the older woman's arms, frown growing sharper still. "It must be magic," she says, and looks aside to Spider-Man. "Loki is-- is a prince of Asgard, brother of Thor, but no friend to him or this world. He brought the Chitauri, and has slipped his bonds in Asgard. He is a master of magic, of trickery that baffles the senses and sometimes turns the mind altogether. But if this is his work I cannot see it; this is something else. Valkyrie," Sif turns back to her, "With whom have you met? Where did you even acquire these garments?" It is a practical question, but she cannot quite keep the distaste from her voice. Srsly, wtf did you get this crap.

"Hold on, you mean /Loki/ was the asshole that let those no-face creeps attack New York and leave all of their guns behind to be traded on the Black Market?!" Peter's voice sounds surprised now, and maybe even a little outraged at this fact-- it's HIS city that got torn up, after all. He shuts up long enough for Sif to address Valkyrie directly, though he can't help but point out, "Uh. It looks like she got those clothes at Juicy Couture-- uh. Not that I know much of anything about women's fashion. But, you see, there's this girl I happen to like, and she-- well. Never mind." Peter finally stops himself when he realizes he's just mouthing off again. Isn't that what got him into this mess in the first place?

"Amora took me shopping," Valkyrie explains with a dazzling smile. She does not fight Sif's brusque hold. "It was on the upper west side, I believe. We met on the street...it was happenstance." Her smile dims a little, hazy gaze flickering to something clearer before dimming again.

"Amora," Sif's lip curls. In her anger, Peter gets only a sideways glance, and a blankly puzzled one at that. No-face creeps? Black market? Juicy? WHAT LANGUAGE IS THIS. "She must have done this," she says, "And she will pay for it. Valkyrie, what did Amora say to you?" she asks, staring the woman down, demanding focus, "What did you besides purchase this garb?" To Peter: "You, you detected something wrong with her. What did she do, or say?"

"Uh," Peter says, taken aback slightly at the vehemence of Sif's actions and words. Maybe he's forgotten how to mouth off in his shock? "I don't know, really," he expands on his shock, shoulders shrugging as hands spread wide again in slight helplessness. "I mean, she threatened me, I bantered right-- and, uh." He lifts a costumed hand and places it on the back of his neck, rubbing slightly in complete confusion. If one could see his face, it might be sheepish under that mask, "She may have taken me literally that she could show she was attracted to either Thor or the Hulk by punching them in the face."

"Ah, yes. That was my intent. Sif, you must excuse me for I have need to show my affection," Valkyrie agrees giddily, reaching to remove Sif's hands from her shoulders. "His wise suggestion was for my feminine needs, child. I should see to them." SHE MUST MAKE HASTE WITH THIS. Giggle.

"Stay a moment, Valkyrie," Sif requests, hands unmoving, as she looks to Peter, awaiting his answer. She listens, and listens, and blinks, and then rolls her eyes and gives a shake of her head accompanied by a sigh and a roll of her eyes heavenward, a 'Odin preserve me from this madness' sort of look. "The thing called Hulk should not be punched," she advises Valkyrie, "I do not believe this would inspire love in him. I would suggest instead that you punch the one called Stark," she says, "Is he not handsome? I believe he will appreciate the gesture."

"Uh," Peter says, holding up a single digit in a 'Hold on there!' moment, "Don't you think that Stark might not survive such affection, Sif? At least Thor would be able to handle the-- weight... of Val's affections here. "

"My affection is not such a burden!" Valkyrie protests with a girlish pout, squirming a little in Sif's hold. Lemmegoooo. "I shall take shall take advisement from such a notion, however. He has not seemed a warrior to me so much as a scientist." So smart. <3

Sif somewhat reluctantly acknowledges Peter's point with a tilt of her head, and then a nod to Valkyrie. "It is true, he is not a warrior. Hit him only very lightly," she advises, "Like you would a small child. You do not wish to injure him, that will not aid your cause."

"Oh, no-- I'm sure it's not, Val," Spider-Man replies to Valkyrie's pout. "I can just picture your dating profile now-- you like long walks on the battlefront, the smell of fresh blood in the morning, and a mean right hook." The bug-eyes Avenger looks over at Sif warily, though she wouldn't know it from the expression behind his mask. Stupid mask removing all context. "Look, maybe we should actually do something to help, here," he says, now sounding a touch concerned that Valkyrie might actually be wound up and released into the wilds.

"A training blow? That is simple enough," Valkyrie agrees cheerfully, bouncing in place. Peter's commentary earns a frown, the aged Asgardian cocking her head to the side. "Are those not all common things to enjoy, Spider?" That sounds like a FANTASTIC DATE. What.

Sif snorts at Peter's description of Valkyrie's likes, and shakes her head at the woman's question. "Not in this realm, Valkyrie. And come, you know most ladies of Asgard do not care for such things, either. Else there should have been a great many more like me demanding your attention," she jokes. She debates internally a moment, consideration unhidden, and then says, "I do not know what we do to remove this enchantment or whatever it is. Perhaps Thor will have an idea."

"Well, /sure/. But most men find stuff like that a little... intimidating." Peter quickly holds up his hands defensively, trying for joking, "Not necessarily /me/, but-- you know. Other guys." His attention is quickly turned back to Sif, and he cocks his head slightly, "Well, I might be able to keep her occupied while you go get him. If you know where he is."

"I had no /need/ of men," Valkyrie contests dryly, showing a hint of herself before her features settle back into that unbecoming simper. "You were an excellent surprise, little Asgardian... Although, I don't know /why/ I ignored them so." SIGH. MEN.

Sif winces faintly at Valkyrie, and reminds her, "You had important work to do. And do still. Stay here a moment," she says, "I will go get Thor and bring him here." She looks to Peter, giving him a 'don't fuck this up' sort of look, and then exits.

Peter does his best to look innocent as Lady Sif affixes him with that /look/. Thank god he's wearing a mask so that he doesn't have to actually make eye contact or anything. His hands come together in front of him, and he twiddles his thumbs a little, looking around and whistles a small toneless tune. "So. Thor, huh? You knew him when he was just a little kid?" Let's try and steer this conversation elsewhere, shall we? At least until we are interrupted again.

Well, if she will bring /Thor/. "I did have important work," Valkyrie says with a smile, moving to perch on the edge of the couch in waiting. Ah. Peter's tuneless whistling gains him a /look/ from the large, hideously clad woman that mixes with her bubbly expression. "Only slightly. He has...grown well."

Peter looks back at Valkyrie, seeming to know when she gives /him/ a /look/. Look, he is totally sexy, too, in his skintight blue and red costume with the bug eyes! He is strapping and manly-- and nowhere nearly as cut and built as Thor. Not to mention, he lacks the hair. Women always go for the hair. "Grown well? What does that even mean? Can someone even grow poorly?" He continues to prattle on, trying not to look at Val's legs as she perches on the edge of the couch in wait. "Oh, and when he gets here-- don't start right in with the punching. You should work your way up to it. Maybe bat your lashes first, draw him in-- and then, WHAM." Listen to Peter. Being helpful-like. Maybe Sif will warn Thor in time.

Sif enters with Thor, who has been warned...but only sort of. She may have neglected to mention that Thor was on the list of men Valkyrie would like to kiss with her fist. She strides into the room just before him, leading the way, and gestures at Valkyrie and Peter in a 'see what I mean?' way.

Valkyrie sits perched on the arm of the couch, to the couch's distaste, dressed like a couger on the prowl in a tight, short and violently pink leather minidress. Makeup has been applied to attractive results, she seems to be nodding to something that Spiderman is saying. A pale lock of hair is twined around her finger, lashes fluttering coquetishly. Sif and Thor have just entered the room as well. "I see," she murmurs.

Thor enters with Sif, Mjolnir in his hand. He is silent as they walk, attention focused. When he spies Pepter and Valkyrie he frowns... deeply. "This is absurd," he grunts. Electricity sparks across the hammer's head. "Stand, Valkyrie," he grunts. "And get off that boy."

An improvement over his earlier dishabille, Stark has a real shirt and jeans on and everything. He is about to walk by when he spots Thor with Mjolnir in his hand. He can't help but stop at that: he lingers in the doorway, weight braced in a lean on the frame, and arches his eyebrows as he takes in the scene. "Wow. Rogers wasn't kidding," he says when he gets a good look at Valkyrie. He means 'hi' and also 'what are you doing, thor'.

"Uh," says Peter in such a manly tone as his head turns to watch the lightning dance across the head of Mjolnir, even going as far as to take a step or two back from Valkyrie's vicinity, like any prudent person would. "Are we sure that this is smart to do right here? I mean, the paint /hardly/ looks dry on the walls yet."

Sif looks over at Stark as he enters, and then takes one subtle step to the side, so that she is no longer blocking Valkyrie's view of the man. She remains near Thor, with a stern expression.

At the sight of Stark, Valkyrie slips from the side of the couch in a fluid motion that is all a woman's appeal combined with a warrior's grace. The smile on her face is /delighted/. "Stark!" Thor gets a pretty smile as well, hi thar. Mjolnir gains a glance, but only that as the woman is unconcerned with /lightning/ while she is batting her lashes at Tony. He is clearly the object of her long-legged saunter towards the door.

Thor ignores Stark, and Mjolnir continues to hum. Thor focuses on Valkyrie, waiting quietly, while she walks across the floor and to the door. "She does appear to be under some spell," he concludes for Sif's benefit. "I did not think her capable of this." He turns to his old comrade. "Lure her outside and I shall remove the spell," he adds. A moment later, he thunders off towards the stairs.

Oh, that's better. This is much more like normal. He is used to long-legged blondes all delighted to see him and approaching with all the subtlety of a shark scenting blood. Stark smiles: reflexive social defenses. "Valkyrie." He glances away from her a moment, catching the exchange between Thor and Sif. He tips his head and then eyes Sif. "Lure her outside? What, are you going to put down a trail of feathery pink shoes?" Sorry, Val.

Sif watches Valkyrie approach Stark, looking embarrassed once again on her behalf. She looks up at Thor, pleasantly surprised, "You can remove it? That is good." She nods, losing a moment in which she might lure Valkyrie away from Stark as she questions, and then losing another as she pauses, considering how best to go about this. Or maybe waiting for Stark to get punched.

What? Was there an insult? "Stark," Valkyrie purrs, striding right into his personal and drawing her hands along his shoulders in a caress. All the subtly of a shark, indeed. "You are who I have been hoping to see," she croons raspily, drawing in close. Then she abruptly pulls back an arm -- to hit him. Lightly. Like a kiss.

Outside, without warning, it has begun to storm. Lightning cracks the sky, flashing wildly, and thunder shakes the roof. It doesn't rain, though. For some reason.

"Stark, you really need to get out of here. Like-- now. Maybe yesterday. I don't think you're going to--" Ohshitohshitohshit. Peter cuts off as Valkyrie steps up and touches Tony, suddenly all on edge because he knows exactly what's coming-- it's what he jokingly suggested she do. And apparently both subtlety and sarcasm are lost on Asgardians. As Valkyrie's arm comes back, Peter flicks his wrist forward. *THWIP!* There's suddenly a very sticky web substance connecting Peter's wrist to Valkyrie's hand as he grabs the strand of webbing, trying to prevent her from hauling off and hitting Stark.

Unfortunately for Peter, he didn't bother to stick to the floor first-- and so when she hauls off to knock Tony's block off, Peter gets yanked off of his feet with a "Whoooooah!!" and goes flying into Valkyrie's back. He probably hasn't stopped her swing entirely, but he's probably pulled it back to much more human ranges of right hooks.

To Stark's credit -- his thin, bare credit -- he is already gently easing away at that light touch to his shoulders ... but that doesn't mean he's able to dodge an Asgardian punch. Even a light little baby kiss punch. A flinch backwards puts his spine to the door as Peter crashes into Valkyrie, and then her fist hits his face. He is knocked back another step into the hall. "--the hell?" His eyes are wide and he lifts his hand to touch with curled fingers where she struck. Looking past her, past them all, he considers the lightning. /Oh/. Then looks he at Sif. /Oh/. /Lure her outside/. So he starts falling back in the direction of the outside door. Here sharky, sharky, sharky. "Let's do that again, huh, Valkyrie?" He smiles at her, all bright, with skin reddening where she struck him.

Sif shifts on her feet as she hears the storm kick up outside, fingers resting unconsciously on the hilt of her sword. Valkyrie's punch does not come as a surprise to her; in fact she stifles a quick, pleased smirk. When Stark decides to make himself bait to lure her out, she does not stop him, but follows just behind, instead. "Yes," she suggests, "Perhaps you should, Valkyrie. He seems to like it."

The shark perk-- I mean, Valkyrie looks up brightly, vacantly, from staring down at her hand with blank shame. It is a slow, creepy transformation as she goes from standing with her shoulders hunched and mouth in a bitter twist to looking like a perky cheerleader. There is no give in her large figure as Peter collides into her back beyond a step taken forward, footing sound on the carpet. THUD. "Really?" She inquires delightedly, offering Stark a hand as she cocks her head to the side. "You may hit me now." :D "Or I can attack you, anew. As Sif suggests?"

Stark saw that smirk, Sif. He /saw that/. He gives her a quick stab of a look, but he's not quite foolish enough to divert his attention from Valkyrie for any more than a heartbeat. Less than a heartbeat. God only knows what she can do with a full heartbeat to herself. "/Absolutely/. You go ahead. Ladies first." Then he, uh, turns and runs outside. /Dignity what is that/.

Peter, meet immovable wall. Or at least, immovable Asgardian. Ow. The costumed teenager bounces off Val's back who looks hardly worse for the wear, though he lands quite gracefully on his feet having been jerked right through the intervening space. The mask turns to look back at Sif, "I'm beginning to think that you Asgardians are all insane. Did you all get hit on your heads repeatedly when you were kids?"

Valkyrie looks at Stark with doe-eyed attention and a warm smile that is two shades too forceful to be friendly. She nods at Sif, then skips after Stark at a slower pace. Feminine-like. No one touch her comic, else she will be pissed.

Stark hears a strange thump-thump-thump-thump above him while lightning continues to flash. Far overhead, hidden partially by darkness and clouds, waits Thor. He doesn't attack Stark. Instead, he waits. When he sees Valkyrie, a bolt descends upon her from the heavens. It flashes boldly, almost blinding, with a force that is strong enough for Stark to feel, even from several feet away. Everyone else will feel a tingle. Not a pleasant tingle.

"Yes," Sif deadpans at Peter, "It is called combat training." She follows Val and Stark outside, close enough that if she really needed to jump in and prevent Valkyrie from smashing Tony's skull, she could try. But not so close as to get hit with that bolt of lightning. Teeth grit, but it is not an unfamiliar feeling, and she blinks away the spots and looks about at the others again.

When the bolt of lightning strikes, Stark stumbles, but he does not stop moving. He trips forward a few more steps and turns back to see just what Thor managed. He has a look on his face kind of like 'how is this my life'.

Just a few strides from the door, Valkyrie slows her pace after Stark and presses her hand to her temple. Then she looks up, just in time to see Thor illuminated by the heavens -- before she gets hit with a lightning bolt. BZZT. The valkyrie crumples to the ground without a cry, hair sizzling from the combination of electricity + product and leather dress burnt crispy. Ow. Her clothes smell vaguely of bacon. Must be the frying.

Peter follows along behind Valkyrie, next to Sif as he continues a string of banter, "Are you kidding?! Haven't you ever heard of the phrase 'Make Love, not War'? It's really popular here-- especially in the 60s." He can help Sif stop Valkyrie from pounding on Tony if things get really dangerous too! Maybe. The front door opens for the costumed teen and the Lady Sif, and -- KRAKOOM!! Peter practically /jumps/ out of his skin, though he was moving seconds before the bolt of lightning even struck, and is clinging to the front of the Avengers' mansion moments later. "OH MY GOD! What the hell is going on here?! You just hit her with LIGHTNING!! You must be COMPLETELY INSANE!"

Thor descends swiftly. He lands with a crash besides Valkyrie. The cement doesn't crack, but there is definitely a /thud/. He frowns at the woman. "Forgive me, father, if I have slain her." Rain pours without warning, crashing down on Thor, Tony, and Valkyrie alike. A moment later, the God of Thunder pulls back his fist and tries to punch his father's servant in the head.

Sif winces as Valkyrie falls, saying over her shoulder to Peter, "He is the God of Thunder. He can call storms. Did you not know this?" That explains it, right? She steps out into the rain to crouch beside Thor and the fallen woman, observing. Tony gets a glance. He's fine, right? Right.

"I swear, I've got to be on some episode of Punk'd," Peter says to himself as he clings to the front of the Avengers mansion, staring down at the strange Asgardian tableau before him, rain soaking the three out in front of the mansion a short bit away. "I keep expecting Dax Shepard and Ashton Kutcher to just pop out from the middle of nowhere and tell me this is some sort of certifiable nightmare." As Thor lands and pulls back to haul off and crack Valkyrie in the head, Peter speaks up more loudly over the deluge, "HEY!! Haven't you ever heard that it's impolite to strike a lady after she's been virtually annihilated by lightning?!" Oh, Peter-- what a cute streak of honor. *THWIP!!* Thor gets a faceful of webbing from the teenager. It might ruin his aim a little bit.

The rain puts out Valkyie's still burning hair with a sizzle, fizzling as a cloud of smoke rises up from it. Her prone figure twitches, electricity leaving nerves flaring in uneasy patterns, water sluicing along skin that is burnt in some areas but unbroken. At the last moment before Thor's fist can make contact, her hand shoots up and grips him tightly to attempt stall the blow. Her fingers find the most vulnerable point of his arm and she rolls weakly to more out of the way. Her frigid blue eyes flare open, teeth gritted in a snarl as she hisses a choked, "Fuck."

Stark is fine. He is dazed, but fine. He remains where he is, despite the rain that flattens his hair and plasters his clothing close to his body. His arc reactor becomes a brilliant shine beneath his shirt as the dark and the wet conspire to reveal it. "Don't you mean, like, 'Fuck, forsooth'?"

Thor is blinded by webs. He pulls on the icky stuff while Valkyrie catches his fist and manages to push it aside. It sinks into the ground beside her. Yikes! Thor jerks his arm out, making a hunk of grass erupt upward before he wipes webs away. He stares at Valkyrie afterward, expression stern. "Tell me you are yourself and I will cease," he says angrily, ignoring all others. Lightning flashes threateningly above them, and thunder cracks soon after.

"No, I mean /fuck/." Valkyrie rolls sharply, lashing out at the meat of his arm above his fist with a sharp strike of her elbow as she falls into old habits. Attack. Attack. Attack. If you defend, you are already losing. Her brow falls in a dark line as she shakily rises to her feet. A moment is lost as she tears the useless heels from them and digs her toes into the damp ground, sliding to a stop. "Why do you attack, son of Odin?! What --" she twists her head, hair plastered to her skin; memory slowly returns. "Oh." She looks over at Stark, flinching guiltily. "Yes."

Sif looks back at Peter and glares. "Do not do that again," she warns of the webs, "He does what he must to break the enchantment." As Thor and Valkyrie tussle, she rises to her feet again, beginning to reach out towards the woman and to speak when memory seems to return. "Yes," she confirms with a nod, and then smiles, "Fuck, indeed." Stark gets an arched brow, "Was that better?"

Stark's smile is not quite as bright as the glow of the arc reactor, but he comes close. Humor flashes an answer to Valkyrie's curse. "Yep. Okay, /fuck/." He waves off Valkyrie's guilty flinch and swans back toward the open door of the mansion. He clasps her on the shoulder as he goes without fear or flinch; it's the same careless disregard that causes him to jab Banner with pointy things. "You hit like a kitten. You should see what Thor did to my suit the first time we met."

"Oh my god! Stop with all of the fighting!! You're not in Asgard, you're in New York City where people are POLITE and KIND and COURTE-- okay, maybe we're not so polite ourselves, but at least we don't just try and kill each other with lightning!" As Sif addresses him, Peter points back down at her from the wall, bug eyes staring her down, "Don't you tell me what to do, lady. I've got plenty of webs left over for you too, if you need it."

Thor watches Valkyrie seriously. "You were not yourself. We believe the magic of Enchantress overcame you," is Thor's answer. After the beating. Luckily, he wears armor. That does not mean it did not hurt, however. "Should you need comfort, or a private ear, I will be in my room. I shall leave you, now, however. I hear my father's whisper. He wishes to know what ailed you." Thor glances at Stark and grins, but very briefly. "A tale for another time." He glances at Peter while Mjolnir begins to spin rapidly. "Perhaps that boy needs a stout drink. I am certain Stark can oblige." A moment later, he ascends into the air.

"I will be sure to remedy that if ever you have need of a blow of sense, as I did. The Lady Sif suggested I have care for your delicate bones," Valkyrie retorts dryly, hiding a little of the shame that hangs on her features. The touch of Tony's hand to her shoulder leads them to straighten somewhat -- but between the lightning and the spell, she is well beaten. Her eyes show honest gratitude as she looks towards Thor. "My thanks, Odinson. And, yes. Fuck," she echoes, looking towards Sif. A gesture is made towards the yelling spider before she is peeling crispy leather from skin, striping mostly nude. It can join those shoes. "It is an excellent term." She turns her face up towards the rain, letting it wash away of her fuzziness from the spell.

"Did she." Stark glances in Sif's direction with a thoughtful purse of his lips before they thin into a smile. "That was very kind of you, Sif." He wiggles a few fingers at Peter to detach from wherever he is clinging. "Come on, kid. That's the way Asgardians play: work hard, play hard. You'll get used to it. I should send Thor a fruit basket for thinking to take it outside, really." He heads on in, dripping on the very nice floors.

Peter practically has apoplexy as Valkyrie pretty much peels off the burned dress and strips down to almost nothing at all. He boggles in shock, and as Stark passes closeby, he does indeed drop off the front of the Avengers mansion at Tony's urging, perhaps unable to take all of this Asgardian strangeness, "This is playing? I'd hate to see what it looks like when they're really trying to hurt someone, then." And he follows Tony back inside.

Sif just sort of looks at Peter, and then laughs. Right, whatever. WHATEVER. She might as well make a big W at him as she turns away. She watches Valkyrie for another moment before she is satisfied that the spell is gone. "You are welcome," she says then to Stark with a sweet smile. She nods to Thor as he takes his leave, and checks with the valkyrie, "You will be well, now? I believe I may return indoors and see for myself what liquors they have at hand here."

"Well, actually it looks a lot like that," Stark admits. "Just think of them as really destructive puppies." He drips way on up the stairs with a wave of his hand, indulgent, back at Sif. "Enjoy the liquor." He is going to go /dry off/ -- and maybe put some ice on Valkyrie's lovetap.

A breath later, Valkryie's laugh follows Sif's and her eyes crinkle with the width of her smile. At least SOMETHING is funny in all of this. Exhaling a long breath, she dips her head in a sharp nod and turns to regard Sig. "I will be well, yes. My thanks for your aid. I should thank the little bug as well, but I think he is shy of a woman's touch," she notes, a hint of amusement touching her mouth. Naked. Big deal. "I will be in shortly." She just wants to stand in the rain...a little longer.